We live our lives and do our best to function in the world. At some point we come to a crossroads – life is good but what MORE is there? Could there be more happiness, fulfillment, or meaning for you? Is there a forgotten dream deep in your past? Is something missing? Life feels like a 1000 piece puzzle with a handful of missing pieces – but you can’t find them because you don’t know exactly what you are looking for?
This feeling is common – and some may call it a midlife crisis. I choose to call it a midlife crossroads – because WE DECIDE the direction to take next. But which way should you go? Often we just sit right down on the road and stick with what we know. The crossroads stares us in the face the last half of our lives and we wonder near life’s end “what could have been?”
I stared this crossroads in the face a few years ago and I really wanted to stay in the status quo, sit in my comfy place forever. BUT my soul had a different idea and I became so restless that change was necessary. It escalated to a panic inside that I had to change or die (okay, it sounds dramatic but it was how I felt). I made the terrifying choice to leave behind my career to reinvent myself and I do not regret it one bit. Back then I needed to really think through this before I took the leap, and I found that doing the deep work to answer the 6 questions below gave me the courage to move forward.
1. What's your highest priority in this lifetime?
What's most important for you to experience, explore or embrace this time around? I wanted to be the best mother, wife, and leader I could be. I wanted the world to be a better place because I was here. I had so many ideas that I wanted to share with the world and my corporate career was the training ground that helped me find this realization. I had proven to myself that I was a strong leader and could achieve my goals with hard work. My vision for my life and the impact I wanted to make was larger than the position I was in, and it was time to pivot my career and align my passion for coaching with my career path.
Having defined my priorities helped me set my intentions and generate the pull to manifest the connections to people and situations necessary to bring this new reality to life.
If this question is difficult for you – think about the things that bring you true joy. What activities did you enjoy as a child? What are your hobbies now? When your goals are aligned with your soul, synchronicity kicks in to guide you to your target.
2. Is this YOUR dream, or someone else's?
Are your goals your own choice, or what others think you should strive for? I loved my first career and experienced much personal growth and satisfaction from the work. After two decades it became less exciting and I wondered “did I really want this anymore?” I did want it – because I learned that climbing the corporate ladder is a great and lucrative career choice. There was also a part of me that felt it was what I was supposed to do. Now older and wiser, I decided it was time for me to do my own thing. I didn’t want to look back in my old age and wish I had done something else. I knew I would regret “playing it safe” with a traditional career when my heart longed to coach, write, and share my ideas with the world. I didn’t want to die with my book in me!
Our soul’s journey requires us to rediscover who we really are through the experiences of our lives. Who we really are is part of the dream we have for ourselves. It must be YOUR OWN dream you pursue to get to the Truth of who you are. Dig deep to find if it is YOUR dream you are chasing.
3. Are you settling for less than?
Are you resigned to accepting less than your full share of love, health and success this lifetime? Have you compromised and sacrificed your dream? I found that using the Life Wheel Tool helped me to see what areas of my life were not bringing me the satisfaction I liked.
After using this tool, I had a good idea of areas of my life that needed attention and I could see how this related to my restlessness and strong desire to change the direction of my life. You can try the Lifewheel here.
4. What steps can you take today toward your dream?
Don't defer your dream. Create new habits and positive daily rituals to embed your intentions into inspired actions you can take each day. I found myself translating my dreams into goals where I could break them into smaller actionable steps.
Are there smaller projects or activities that lead to your larger dream? If the dream is to run a marathon, train for a local fun-run first. And find a way to measure your progress. Track those little wins-by writing in a journal or telling a friend. When I told my family and friends “My website will be up by November 1st“ it gave me the motivation and accountability I needed to stay focused and get it done. Sometimes it’s easy to break a commitment to yourself but breaking a commitment to others is a negative consequence that can keep us on track.
4. What will you feel like when you reach your dream?
Everything is energy that vibrates at various frequencies. Feelings become your vibration and you attract those things that you are in vibrational resonance with. Have you noticed that “high vibe” people seem to have good luck and “low vibe” Eeyore types have many catastrophies? It is your feelings that attract your experiences. The more you experience the feeling of having what you want, the more you will have it.
I take 5 minutes each day in the morning and another 5 minutes at night before bed to quietly contemplate my future. I visualize in great detail “a day in my amazing life.” I imagine waking fully rested and excited to face the day. I see my writings inspiring others and meet new coaching clients that are a perfect fit to achieve outstanding results from my program. I feel amazing because I know I am making a difference for those meant to cross my path. I am happy and fulfilled, doing what I love to do, and walking in the light. I am healthy and strong, surrounded with loving and kind people that feel like my “tribe.” I am connected to Spirit and walk in Truth as my authentic self. I am courageous and bold, easily leaving the past behind and am unafraid to walk my unique life path. I know everything in life is happening the way it was intended, and the Universe has my back. I know who I am. I know how I serve. I am the REAL me.
This visualization sets the feeling that I have it all, raising my vibration so I can manifest my intentions. Write down your own amazing “day in your future life” and see how you feel. BAM! You will find yourself feeling like anything is possible – because it is!
6. Are you telling yourself: "I can't have my dream?"
Most people don't believe they can live their dream. Either their belief system has them believing they can't make a living doing what they love, or they feel they don't deserve their dream. To avoid the pain of feeling they can't have their dream, people often keep their dream so buried they can't remember they ever had a dream.
The early Law of Attraction pioneer Neville Goddard stated “It is not what you want that you attract, you attract what you believe to be true.” If you don’t believe you can have your dream it absolutely will not happen.
Human socialization from early in our lives told us what is possible. The problem is, those old programs were limiting all we see in the world and this old conditioning must be overcome to rediscover our True Self. Famous innovators throughout history achieved seemingly impossible things because they saw possibilities that 99% of the rest of us did not see. They were the weirdo’s, outcasts, mad scientists, and risk takers that have given us much proof that anything is possible. They believed their ideas entirely even when the rest of world doubted them. Then they made their magic happen and proved us all wrong.
YOU have that magic. Your soul knows what your incredible contribution to the world should be.
Contemplate these 6 questions and see what you find. Are you ready for the truth? Morpheus in the movie “The Matrix” said to Neo “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland (unplugged from the Matrix program), and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” "You have to understand, most people are not ready to be unplugged..."
My friends, we have been given the blue pill – but now you decide if you want to unplug from the program and find the real Truth. You have dreams that are meant to come true. Go for it!